Sunday, March 27, 2011

Crazy Times and the World Seems to be Crashing

We are living in crazy times and the world seems to be crashing on many fronts, politically, financially, environmentally, morally, and spiritually.  Fear, greed, poverty, wealth, oppression, power, hate, lust, addictions, jealousy, sickness, and unrest are just a few of the drivers, not to mention natural events.  Many seem to want to hide from it all as unrest surrounds us in the news and discussions.   As bad as it seems, it's going to get worse.  I'm not a dooms-day type person.  I only know it will; the book of Revelation says so, and I believe it all to be true.

"Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. They called to the mountains and the rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?"  Revelation 6:15-17 NIV




This picture may be how you are feeling right now; ready to be crushed beneath the giant rock.  "I can't keep holding this thing up for much longer!!!"  The reality is that we have so little power over anything.  We pretend that we are in control, but we control so very little.  Today, a sweet Japanese young woman spoke telling how she was wondering the streets of a town they had just moved to when a woman approached her to tell her of a nearby church where she could learn English.  With her mother's encouragement she attended and later, as she told it, the Holy Spirit moved her even though she didn't understand all the words that were spoken of Jesus' love for her.  Oh, the pain and suffering in Japan; though this woman's family and friends are "safe", she says they don't yet know the peace that she has in Jesus Christ.  I cried listening to her thank us for praying as she knows, she said, that our prayers change things in Japan.  This is faith that I wish everyone who heard her would embrace.


Over and over I see it, read about it, and have experienced it; though you don't have all the answers, faith in the one true God, is enough to sustain the weight of the crushing world around us.
My two best friends (other than Jesus & my wonderful wife)
It may be a crazy time in the world and in your life, but going though the tough stuff in life is easier when you have friends to help carry you, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  Even distance does not stop prayer, cards, calls, and words of encouragement or an ear to listen when all seems lost.  I've found crying together is better than crying alone as a friend leans in to hand you a tissue and lift your spirit.  Even when my friends are miles away, I am never without Jesus.  My closest friend on earth is my gracious loving wife.  She is my greatest cheerleader, supporter, critic and so much more; I need all these gifts from her and the love she shows me every day is really unfathomable.  I know that God crafted her with me in mind.  


My friends have also been crafted, but in a different way.  I just know that when I need them, they will be there in anyway they can be.  I have often commented that you should be able to name your pallbearers while you are still alive; those men that will carry you even when you are alive.  These two guys would be leading the pack and I know I have a number of others that would grab a handle when called on.  I am very thankful for them all.


So, in this messed up world, get your life squared away by living like Jim Elliot said long before he was speared to death trying to share Christ's love,

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

Elliot's peace and purpose was placed in something greater than what the world has to offer; it was placed in Christ and real hope that conquers the fears that come our way, even the fear of death.  Once you get this part of your life squared away by asking Christ to be your master, then and only then, can you love your neighbor more than yourself.  When you do that, it doesn't matter if the world is circling the drain; you are given peace that is from the creator of the world with confidence that what He has made, He is in control of.

Jesus is speaking,
"But when the Father sends the Counselor as my representative — and by the Counselor I mean the Holy Spirit — he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I myself have told you.  I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again." John 14:26-28 NLT








Sunday, March 20, 2011

With AARP just waiting for a reply, I continue to enjoy the wife of my youth, my first wife, and my children.  I feel that I am a very blessed man and I have many worldwide experiences in places and people that I cherish from the chair I write.  I have witnessed world strife, terrorism, and wars but even in the midst of danger, I have hope that is anchored in Christ and the plans He has for me.  

Very Hot Tom Kha Soup in Thailand

Some folks reading this blog like to hear the personal parts so to that end here is one.  I love to cook and I love to eat.  Taste and presentation are both important and the small herbs and spices make all the difference in my enjoyment of the ordinary to the very fine.  The food's texture, smell, feel, and freshness is also extremely important.  A favorite challenge is to eat a new food and try and guess what is in it and how it is made.  Cooking without a recipe is like painting on a blank canvas without any sketch lines.  I have a dear friend, John, that is a foodie and as a chemist, he takes analysis to a molecular level ;-)

We are going to be traveling to Europe soon and the bread, cheese and wine combination in one of the countries is calling my name.  We plan to stop in small towns and meet the people and savor the local fare.  Many thanks to dear friends that got us a Garmin so we could get lost and yet meet up with them on time.  This is some vacation time and time to explore new and diverse regions of the world.  There are many things to hold us where we are and many that have us travel.

Here is a newspaper quote from today: "A big difference, right now, is how interconnected we are. We can view these horrifying events in Japan online within minutes of their happening. Thanks to YouTube and smartphones, we can watch a tsunami wave devastate a town as if it were happening across the street and check a nuclear reactor's status on Twitter

The world learned of the Chernobyl disaster, mind you, two days after it occurred, after tracers picked up radioactive elements on the clothing of nuclear reactor workers -- in Sweden. A day later. 

That kind of relentless, disturbing news can prey on our psyche, and -- if we're not careful -- our pocketbooks. Worry affects our ability to make judgments and, ultimately, decisions -- even financial ones, experts say. 

It's why you need to take some steps these days to ground yourself before you make any wholesale changes to your retirement investments or escape from all this with a shopping spree." Oregonian 3/20/11
Today's news discusses the affect that global unrest in Libya, Yemen, and Egypt along with tsunami and earthquake damage in Japan; the threat of radioactivity, and even local crime or events can shake a person's mental status.  It is true and yet, I for one, know that my prayers to an all knowing and all powerful God, those prayers can affect much in ways through God's hand than if I had not prayed them.  This is not to say God requires my prayers, but that He has directed us to pray and He listens.  Something that is not on the same  level as these disasters and political changes is a small book, recently released, called Love Wins.

For a number of years I have enjoyed the ministry of Rob Bell through the Nooma video series.  I own a number of the DVDs and one year, as a family, we sent the ministry financial support.  But the words we speak (or write), mine included, can and will follow us determining the influence and impact that we have in this world.  Though I once considered Bell to be cutting edge in communication of faith, I better understand the position he takes; a position that I can't agree with.  My words here are more to state my position than to criticize his.

I wanted you to know that I am greatly disappointed in the position Rob Bell has taken.  Although I have not read the book, Love Wins, and will not, his interview on MSNBC YouTube was sufficient for me to hear that he does not see the gift of the sacrifice of Christ as the point of transformation and that a person's decision is made in this life, not available postmortem.  I believe his assertion is both a danger to those who might think that they will have a second chance and profoundly post-modern in his inclusive universalist hope.
Though I am far from a theologian, I find his comments hermeneutically unsound and his desire for God's love to over-ride God's justice (or any other part of God's character) totally unfounded.

I find Bell's position most unfortunate in so many ways.  After researching Bell further during a discussion with my pastor, I have not utilized the Nooma series and find myself now with a box of DVDs that are worthless because of his stance.  Though my pastor did not agree with me, we agreed to use watchful eyes and accurate teaching to bring this to light.

So before you stop reading as if this doesn't have anything to do with your life, let me say this as firmly as I can.  Everything matters about what decision you make while you are alive on this earth; who you say Jesus is to you?
"And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many." Hebrews 9:27-28 NKJV  
It doesn't say all; it does not say you get a second chance.  Let's just say, I wouldn't bet the farm that you will get a second chance after death to decide to love God... God doesn't change, He has always loved you.

"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved . For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."   For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile — the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved ."
Romans 10:9-13 NIV

God's love is such that He sent Jesus to live among us; He has revealed it to us in specific and general revelation (see Psalm 19).  If Bell's position is right, why have millions of people risk everything in order to share the gospel?  Why did Jesus come and sacrifice Himself to take on the sins of the world past, present and future for you and me?  Why did Jesus command us, 
"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."" Matthew 28:18-20 NIV

Don't be fooled, the decision is yours to make but you must make it before your earthly body dies for love to win.

Saigon Street = Life Decisions
If I were to write a book it would be more aptly titled, God Wins!  Of all the denial in the world it does not change the fact that God wins.


Friday, March 11, 2011

A Farmer of the King

Check out the phone on the right!
I recently celebrated another birthday, long past this picture.  Age has certain privileges, one of which is the wisdom that experience brings. 

Confucius is quoted of saying:  "By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”  I have tasted these three and also a fourth.  James, the half-brother of Christ writes: 
"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  But he must ask in faith without any doubting..." James 1:5-6 NASU
I have walked 48 years with Christ on a road, working out my faith and salvation, yet I know that salvation was and is a gift God so desires to give so we can have an un-restricted relationship.  He has also given me wisdom both in times of need, and in my walk in general.  It is not my abilities that are tested, but the power of the third member of the Triune God, in me.

It is difficult for me to describe the Kingdom, but I know the King; He is my Father, my sovereign, my God.  He is perfect in every way; His character never changes.  He is all loving, all powerful, all knowing, not bound by time or space, righteous and pure; His is just and jealous, demanding, and forgiving.  Yet in these and many more attributes, He remains loving and merciful, just and demanding all at the same time.  No one attribute over-rides the others but are held in unity and harmony. 


His Kingdom, as we see it on earth is not perfected or complete, yet it remains.  It is the very thread that makes up the fabric of the universe.  Those that are followers of Christ and by Him have been transformed to be heirs of God's family, dwell in this universe while living on the earth.  I, like others in the Kingdom, face an evil foe who desires our glory, but glory belongs to none other than the King of Glory, Yahweh. 


The Kingdom is filled with many and Yahweh is the judge and ruler of those subject to Him.  As in Middle Ages, there are those that sit just inside the gate, those that tend the gate, those that are more like Knights, and many who shepherd the flocks and plant and harvest the fields.  Yahweh God loves all of his subjects equally, but some choose to receive the power from Him and answer the King's call to their station in life.


"And now let the voice ring out with great gladness—we won ones may be the pathway back to God for the others. That is His earnest desire. That should be our dominant ambition. For that purpose He has endowed us with peculiar power.
There is one inlet of power in the life—anybody's life—any kind of power: just one inlet—the Holy Spirit. He is power. He is in every one who opens his door to God. He eagerly enters every open door. He comes in by our invitation and consent. His presence within is the vital thing.
But with many of us while He is in, He is not in control: in as guest; not as host. That is to say He is hindered in His natural movements; tied up, so that He cannot do what He would. And so we are not conscious or only partially conscious of His presence. And others are still less so. But to yield to His mastery, to cultivate His friendship, to give Him full swing—that will result in what is called power. One inlet of power—the Holy Spirit in control." (Quiet Talks on Prayer by S.D. Gordon 1904) This powerful book can be read at  Quiet Talks on Prayer.



The unfortunate truth is that in our world, there are wolves in sheep's clothing, calling themselves by a name and tarnishing what the name once stood for.  Case in point in our media today, the Westboro Baptist Church which is not even remotely connected with any Baptist conventions or associations; nor do their members (71 in 2007) resemble Christ's love of people.  Yet some have referred to them as Christians.  The term, "Christian" has been bastardized to both extremes like Westboro Baptists on one end and the dilution by the hordes of Americans that consider themselves "Christian" as a default religion, because they are none of the others, on the other end of the term.  Therefore, the actions of those that call themselves "Christian" but do not follow God's Word in speech, action, and deed, has tarnished the term.  Today, I will often refer to myself as a "follower of Christ" rather than be confused with the world's dilution of "Christian".


As I said, the Kingdom of God is difficult to describe, but I know I am part of it.  To that end, I will work the fields, not in my own strength, but in the power and strength of my King.  The Apostle Paul wrote:
"As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."   For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile — the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."  
How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:11-15 NIV


So I live in a Kingdom, that is in the world, but no tof the world; I live in a body that has been called a "tent" that is fading away:
"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands." 2 Corinthians 5:1 NIV 
"So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, 14 because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me.". 2 Peter 1:12-15 NIV
My tent is broken and worn, but I shall use the assets of His that I steward over to bring honor and glory to my King.
"He [Jesus] told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves." Luke 10:2-3 [observation, mine] NIV

While I live, and as I was born again, I shall be a most dependent farmer waiting instructions and obeying.








Sunday, March 6, 2011

The End of the Age

We have three, what I consider to be, exception children; all of which shall eclipse their parents in ways too numerous to count.  May I share with you as minute slice of how wonderful God has designed them and the processes they are in; our son is getting his PhD in Astrophysics.  He thinks, talks, teaches and works on things beyond our galaxy. My wife and I look at each other in wonder, knowing that he probably didn't get this from either of us and it had to be an extra touch from Heaven.  I have often suggested he discover the "warp drive" that would give all Star Trek fans hope for the future.  He smiles at his father.


Hubble Photo of the Eagle Nebula
There are certain mysteries that the universe has, man will always pursue; and, not to disappoint them, there are many mysteries which they will never understand or their explanations they theorize shall fall short of the truth.  Though this will not dissuade them, which I am grateful, their theories require more "faith" than I could find.  There is neither a tree of all knowledge that is available nor should we ever be so contemptuous to not believe that God's design and  His creation of the universe is fathomless and beyond our grasp as mere mortals.

There are many Christians that follow the notion that they can hasten the end of the age and bring back Jesus by making sure that everyone on the planet has had a chance to hear the gospel; a notion of which I respect, but can't quite agree with.  I see this as only difference of opinion on a minor theological interpretation.  This is the text of Scripture that they hang the task of worldwide evangelism on.

"As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. "Tell us," they said, "when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?"
Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.

"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."  Matthew 24:3-14 NIV

First of all I am on record that I believe every word of this statement by Jesus Christ regarding the end of the age.  Some people have said that the rise in earthquakes, unrest in the world, and other markers are ushering in the end times.  Frankly speaking, to me it doesn't matter if it is or not; I am and will live my life as if He can and will return at any moment (regardless and in spite of any "predictions").


What I question is not Christ's teaching to His disciples and thus to the entire world, but the notion of man's total responsibility for bringing about the results and therefore the end of the world as we know it.  Should this notion be true, it puts the return of Christ, which will happen, on the backs and responsibility of man and not on God's sovereign knowledge and timing.  I remain in the camp that we should endeavor to be about the Father's business and share the Gospel; as we are doing this, whether I live to see it or not, the Father will again send the Son back for His bride, the Church [this includes the living and dead follower of God's Son]. The commission and power that Jesus gave was this: 
 

"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matt 28:18-20 NIV

Please do not get me wrong, I applaud and support the work that is being done by every true follower of Christ to reach out to the lost wherever they may be found in every nation, people group and tribe and I also believe that God grants supernatural power to accomplish His love of mankind.  It is not God's desire that any man, woman or child not choose to love Him, but for this, He has given a choice.  


The end of this world as we know it is true and yet I don't know or understand how all the events will unfold, Christ's roll-out of the future is sure:
Matthew 24:30-31 NIV


For now, I am content to follow King Solomon's wisdom:
"Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also, I saw, was from the hand of God." Eccl 2:24-25 NKJV  

Our twin daughters
One daughter brought me a wonderful apple pie made from scratch by her; we ate last night and enjoyed the company of good friends.  My other daughter travels through Israel; experiencing things for the first and second time.  My wonderful wife prepared a feast with friends and today I go to worship the King Almighty and hear of His great love for me and forgiveness that I so desperately need and before I leave the building, I shall join with God in communion at His table.  Yet, an hour scarcely passes that I do not consider the remaining lost of this world and I pursue the opportunities that unfold before me.  For I breath and live at His pleasure and when I draw my last air, my pleasure will be to be in His presence for all eternity.
 












Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Wake up before it is too late

The older I get the more amazed I am at the past and how it is both remembered and how it is forgotten.  Today is my mom's 88th birthday and after having a lovely dinner of excellent Chinese food (American style), we continued our evening of conversation.  I asked her about events over 50 years ago and they were still vivid in her mind, both of warned danger and of experienced absence of the same.  So much of our life is shaped by the warnings by others or the anxious thoughts we have.  "What if this happens?"  The reality is 90% of those things don't happen; possibly because our senses are heightened to the possibility.
Happy 88th birthday, Mom

Other powerful life shaping catalysis are expectations.  They come in all styles and shapes, both good and bad.  Dreams, like the "American Dream" or dreams of fame, fortune, and/or power can drive a person to do many amazing and even dangerous, morally corrupt, even criminal acts, all to reach the allusive dream that is just over the next hill.  You know where it is... at the end of the rainbow.  

There are expectations laid down by bosses and work that drive us and we in turn use our "position" to abuse our families, friends and character to meet the corporate bottom line and keep our job.  Some of us, both men and women, love and crave the accolades that achievement in work can bring.  I have seen this in the youngest salespeople who desire to climb the proverbial corporate ladder, only to find the last rung and realize there is nothing lasting at the top.  I have seen even pastors who shepherd their flock get trapped in the expectation of tradition, church boards, denominations, and even fall prey to the evil voice that size matters and their measure in man's eyes is the Sunday morning count, the production quality of their service and the cathedral/building size.  They, too, find that when it is finished, their trail has left their own children far from a walk with Christ because there was not time for them, only expectations, heaps of expectations of them and their entire family.  Christ said, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world , yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" Mark 8:35-37 NIV  

In our American society filled with some very small churches and some very large ones, we might ask, "What good is it for a man to gain a big congregation, yet have his family crushed... his character smashed... his marriage neglected and trashed ?  I'm not singling out pastors, but this conviction is on every person great and small in a society that materialism has become their god.  We have attempted to make the one true God conform to our image; the image we want Him to be.  How pathetic to think we can turn the table on an Almighty God.  It is time we stop trading the important values of life to chase the dreams and expectations of ourselves or others.

We have lost the time honored values of family, friends, faith, trust, virtue, and character.  We have traded these things for bigger houses, newer cars, better jobs, more toys, more, more, more of more.  Where are the hopes that a little girl might someday become a wonderful, loving mom and wife?  Where are the hopes that dad could be at every game and teach his children how to enjoy each others' company, to laugh and play?  We have chosen "stars" on TV and pay them with ridiculous sums of money rather than value heroes in real life.  Think about it, there are very few heroes in our lives today; only fakes and athletes (real good role models).

Parents expectations can be another area of good or disaster, utter disaster.  We take our young children and fulfill our dreams through them; or we seek their achievements so we will look better or feel better about ourselves; often times, their desires are second to our hopes and dreams.  We push our children to the brink of their abilities and sometimes beyond; 
Sept. 6, 2007 -- There is a sharp rise in suicides across the board in teens, says the CDC.
They are up 76% in girls aged 10-14, up 32% in girls aged 15-19, and up 9% in boys aged 15-19. It's the biggest spike in 15 years, the CDC's latest teen-suicide statistics show.

Reported by www.stateuniversity.com, January 24, 2011, "Nearly 1,100 suicides will occur on college campuses this year. Many more students think about suicide or make a suicide plan. In the past fifty years, the suicide rate for those age 15-24 increased by over 200%. About 12 people aged 15-24 will commit suicide today – that is one about every two hours.
Caucasians account for over 90% of all completed suicides."

Our expectations and dreams are killing our children... they are killing us. 

It is time Americans revolted within themselves and banished the evil, vile, demon of materialism out of their lives and re-calibrate their goals of life.

2000 years ago, Jesus addressed people headed down the same path; we are just like them, but on the freeway.  "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
 
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matt 6:24-34 NIV
Jesus gives us a strong warning about our reality.  He will judge and the outcome may be very different than what you thought.  Listen to His words:  "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?'  Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!"' Matt 7:21-23 NIV  

Here is another reality check for our lives:  Jesus, the Son, again speaking,
"For the one whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God gives the Spirit without limit. The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him." John 3:34-36 NIV



My Great-Nephew
My best friend is about to be a grandfather for the first time.  I am so happy for him.  Children are a gift from the Lord, but we, like His disciples get caught up in the doing and forget to just be with the children.  We need to be grateful, satisfied, content, eager to please our Heavenly Father.  Look at this:   "Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."  When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there." Matt 19:13-15 NIV


Wake up before it is too late; the dream you are chasing is robbing your soul.  The expectations you are trying to live up to will weary you to death and if you ever achieve them, you will see how futile the effort has been... and for what?